Can you remember your first experience of death?

Photo by Ricky Kharawala on Unsplash

Ours was in the 1980s and was the death of a friend's pet hamster, Hammy.

We were quite young and living in Wolverhampton. Our friend, Rachael, lived up the street and had lots of pets: Bimbo the Yorkshire Terrier, cats Tootsie, Oliver, Mitty and Pip, and the enigmatic Hammy the hamster.

We loved watching Hammy roaming around the house in his plastic ball. One time, he broke free and disappeared under the floorboards for a few weeks, only to return covered in cobwebs and rather thinner than before, but he soon perked up again.

Until he died.

Hammy was given a full burial in Rachael's back garden.

His coffin was a plastic watch box, and he was buried in a border near the shed at the bottom of the garden.

Me and LV weren't there for Hammy's send-off, but we got a full account from Rachael.

Katy and Lindsey circa 1988

A few days later she solemnly showed us the exact spot he was buried, marked by a small stick.

I'm not quite sure how things escalated the way they did, but very soon, we were digging away with garden trowels at the shallow grave until we unearthed the plastic watch box.

At this point, it felt like a successful treasure hunt.

However, when the box was popped open, we all got a horrible shock.

I think we imagined Hammy would be fully intact as if sleeping. I think we imagined dead but cute.

Not so.

My main memory is tufts of fur within a writhing swarm of ants.

I think LV became distressed immediately (a highly reasonable response). And only at this point did me and Rachael get scared that we might have stepped over some invisible and unspoken moral line.

I'm guessing LV must have told our mum or Rachael's mum because we got absolutely b*ll*cked.

I felt this was unfair as if we'd known about decomposition there is NO WAY we'd have exhumed the hamster.

And anyway, the adults could have perhaps considered a compostable shroud rather than a miniature coffin from Elizabeth Duke (a reference for the Argos catalogue generation - you're welcome).

mmm gift box turned mausoleum

I'm now wondering if this experience fuelled my fear of burial for many years to come?

R.I.P. Hammy

What was your first experience of death?